You also hate your team as soon as you are done drafting it, or if and when they ever lose. If you are like me, well, you really should get that checked. Samples: +4 Vorpal Quarterback, Third Life Warriors, Klingon Air PowerĢ. Besides, look at who makes all the money now, and didn’t just inherit it. That way, everyone else will seem like they got to the party late, and you’ll seem like a better guy than you are when it comes to making trades. Take your lead from one of my heroes, Stephen Colbert, and just *own* your nerding by making fun of yourself first. Samples: Mustache Fish Riders, Fruit Transmissions, Angry When Angeredģ. Bonus points if your team name is vaguely unsettling or unseemly. To befuddle your opponents into thinking that you are either an idiot man-child who can be suckered into deals, or to just make owners that you don’t know give you a wide berth, let the Dada art and poetry movements be your guide. Samples: There Will Be Blood, Grand Theft Football, Mean MachineĤ. Why develop your own voice, when you can just crib from people who are more clever than you? By the mid-season mark, everyone will be sick to death of it, but that adds valuable Heel Points for enraging your victims. A very sound choice if you are in a 100% redraft league, and convenient for time-stressed feedback. Samples: Jersey Wet Workers, The Hired Goons, Ninjas & More Ninjasĥ. (Please keep in mind though, 2Pac, that you are engaging in Dungeons and Dragons for football fans here, before you get too serious about your street cred.) Football team names are supposed to be aggro, so let the USFL (Invaders - wow, maybe that needs to go in category eight) and XFL (Hitmen) be your guide to Thug Life. Samples: 3 Hour Groaners, Romeo’s Brown Eggs, Najeh’s Feedback, Duce Staleys, Rich KotitesĦ. This one also works if your team is something you always want to flush at mid-season. For extra originality points, try using a non-common term for the deed. Najeh Davenport is the gift that keeps on giving here, with a contribution to fantasy football that will be around long after he’s dead and gone. Samples: Offensive Holding, Tight End Blockers, Very Wide Receivers, Ocho Homosħ. Much more permissible when used in conjunction with a personal attack on a fellow owner, especially if that owner gets a little too angry at the jibe. A bit more confident, but still kind of a meathead staple. Sample: Driving Miss Benson, Carruth’s Comebacks, Leinart’s Beer BongsĨ. At least be quick about it, so the other guy in the league who wants to go there will look like a tool, rather than you. If you are going here, I’d go for something with historical stopping power, but if you’re a Bears fan, I can understand the need for Ceed. Trust me, fifteen million meatheads are going to use their team name this year to reference Fat Ced Benson, to the point where he’s going to be the best known player in the CFL in two years. Another obvious play, especially if you go for something topical. Samples (and they should all fit in the character Yahoo limit): My Johnson Is A Tank, Snake Stabler Sneaks, Fourth and Very Longĩ. Can you win a league with the team from spite? Of course you can. Kind of a frat boy thing, but this can work if you find a particularly repulsive slang term ( is your friend), or you can tie it into some regrettable instance from a league mate’s past. After all, have you ever seen a squad called the Hawks or Team Smith actually win a fantasy Super Bowl? Of course not! So, if your team is still nameless then here are some tips to help pin down that all important moniker and strike fear into the hearts of your opponents.ġ0. Fantasy football is right around the corner, so, by now, you should have already come up with a clever name for your squad because we all know that the picking the right name is half the battle.
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